My list of guilty pleasures is long and somewhat horrifying, and includes such things as Kraft Dinner with cut-up hot dogs, getting fake-interviewed by Rolling Stone magazine while I’m showering, eating Nutella straight from the jar with a spoon or maybe sometimes even just my finger, and reading books about serial killers right before bed. Also, there is nothing I love more than a good bad movie. I don’t mean, like, some shitty rom-com or some dumb action thing (although let’s be honest, Con Air is the best thing ever), but a real, genuine bad movie. I’m talking about a film that is made in complete and total earnest, and despite being a train wreck, its total sincerity shines through the entire time. This is a very, very, VERY rare quality and I in fact have only ever witnessed it fully in two films. One is The Room, which is just…indescribable, though people have been trying in vain to analyze it for a decade. I love this movie so much that I’ve watched it no less than five times in 2013, and possibly even more than that. It is best served up with a pitcher of something boozy and this drinking game. The other film I love, possibly even more than The Room because it is slightly less narcissistic, is the 1990 classic Troll 2, which, despite its title, is not a sequel to Troll and does not contain a single troll. Instead it sort of revolves around some vegetarian goblins, the most confusing family in the world, and a popcorn sex scene (!). I could never do justice to its brilliance; you’ll just have to see it. I will say that my mother-in-law loved it so much that she requested her own copy of it. Also, there’s an incredible documentary about it made by the former child star of the movie. Also, we paid good money to change our license plate in honour of it.
In honour of this wonderful movie, I designed an embroidery pattern featuring possibly the best quote from a film chock-full of sparkling little gems. I find it to be just a generally good life lesson and it would make a great hostess gift this holiday season! I used a combination of stitches here, including a fishbone stitch for the leaves, but you could easily do it in all backstitch and it would still look great. There are tons of great stitch tutorials here and also dozens of videos on YouTube that I reference all the time.
I’ve also included just the border, in case you want to do something a little classier like embroider a song lyric or possibly a different amazing Troll 2 quote (I’m partial to “We need some time for some things to happen!”). I designed this to fit in a 7-inch embroidery hoop, but it’s easily scalable up and down. Also, instead of dealing with fussy transferring techniques, which is my least favourite aspect of embroidery, I used this fantastic stabilizer that you simply print the pattern on to, stich to the front of your fabric, embroider over top of, and rinse after finishing. It just dissolves away. SO EASY.
Enjoy the pattern! And if I haven’t convinced you to watch Troll 2 by now, there’s probably no hope for us as friends.