He Finds The Light
Hey, remember that time I had a blog and I updated it and stuff? Yeah, that time.
If I had a dollar for every time I’ve written the words “life has been crazy” on my blog, I’d have, like, six dollars. But seriously, I don’t even know what’s happening most of the time. Mostly it’s been choir — last week I sang for 22.5 hours. We had our spring performance last night and although it wasn’t perfect, there was a moment near the end when I relaxed enough to hear what we were making with our voices and a little bolt of electricity shot through me. My hands unfurled and it was magic. We still have a few things coming up but all the super intensive choir stuff is over for the year.
In other news, Luka and I went on a walk. I was wearing stripes, polka dots, AND plaid. Go ahead and inscribe “FASHION MAVERICK” on my grave.
Lately it feels like my walks with Luka are the only chance I have to be completely free of external distractions. Actually, never mind the external distractions — sometimes it feels like my mind just won’t shut up. I am working on this. I quit Twitter, because I have a slightly obsessive personality and can’t bear to feel like I’ve missed something — it’s either all or nothing for me and it was just too much chatter. Walks with Luka are my new Twitter.
I keep thinking about where I am this year compared to last year at this time. We were in Berlin, and I was deeply unhappy. All I did was fret about what we were doing, and how I was starting to hate it, and how guilty I felt for that. All I wanted was a home, to sleep in the same bed every night, to go for a walk in the woods I knew. I’m trying to remember that feeling these days, when I get the urge to run away from the responsibilities and irritants of everyday life. This is what I wanted, and I am so grateful for it. I’m trying to be like Luka, who spends his days moving from one patch of sunlit floor to another. He finds the light, no matter where it is. That’s my new philosophy.
Back soon with a free embroidery pattern that involves glittery gold thread! Oh yes.