My Golden Girl

Whew! That was an unexpectedly long break. I have a good excuse, though:

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Sona Grace Garrison was born on March 7, 2014, after 28 hours of labour and the complete disruption of our plans for a home birth. She was a week overdue, which at the time seemed excruciatingly long, but now I’m so glad I got ALL THAT EXTRA SLEEP. I think of it so fondly now.

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I’m still processing the whole experience, and know I will be for a long time. I’m still in shock that I’m someone’s mother, that we made her and I grew her and now I feed her and she’s really here. I know these are such clichéd, mundane observations, but it’s really all I think about these days, along with where my next meal’s coming from, because I am eating like a crazy person (but so is she).

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Shortly after I gave birth, I was lying in bed thinking about how even though I planned and prepared for the birth I wanted and it didn’t go that way at all, I was still completely content with my birth experience because I felt so cared for and supported. I had the most amazing midwives, doula, and Mark was a total champ. I completely abandoned my ingrained never-nudeness (despite once asking Mark if he thought it was possible to give birth with underwear on) and I only snapped once, when Mark innocently tried to eat a banana right next to my face. A few days after having Sona, I was reflecting on my labour and tried Googling “feeling proud after giving birth”. Such few results came back, and all of the suggested searches were things like “feeling sad after giving birth”, “feeling disappointed after giving birth”, etc. I don’t want to discount anyone who has those feelings, but I’m so grateful that I have such positive feelings about how it went.

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The baby is yummy and scary and we’re all just figuring things out together. We have an amazing support network, and still there are times when it is terribly overwhelming, but then she does something fantastic like make this ET-ish face and we fall further in love with her.

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Her first name is the Hindi word for “gold”, and we settled on it fairly early on. Her middle name is for Mark’s mom, although to be 100% honest, I have wanted to use Grace as a middle name since well before I met Mark, so it was also a happy coincidence.

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Mark is now freelancing, which is the greatest blessing. I honestly don’t think I could do this without him, though I know I’d figure it out if I really had to. I have a million more things to say and no words yet, so I’ll leave you with this sweet face; my little lady, my golden girl.

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